Bittersweet shock.

I'm glad I stopped by for two seconds to my friend's blog today, and that she posted a particular YouTube recording by Jon Schmidt and Steven Sharp Nelson. Although Les Mis is my all-time favorite musical and I have never tired of this song -- ever, it has a new meaning to me today.

Last Saturday evening my husband got the most shocking phone call I have ever experienced. Our bishop (leader in our Church), Don Hedrick suddenly passed away at his home early that evening. His wife, and my dear friend Bonnie was working outside for about an hour and came in to find him quiet and still at his computer.

Bishop had spent that morning cleaning the church building with other members of our ward and conducting his Saturday business as usual. Friday night my husband had a jovial conversation with him, joking and laughing as they always have. The husband has always given Bishop a run for his money since he was called to be his counselor (assistant-type person to the Bishop), as is the husband's nature and personality.

I spent the rest of the evening a sobbing mess. Naomi thought it was hilarious I was crying on the floor, and giggled at me until she ran out of steam and fell asleep. I have had short crying fits here and there since then, and we both have just felt heavy and shocked. It doesn't seem real. At all. It seems like I'll just see him next Sunday sitting next to the husband up on the stand chuckling as the husband whispers something funny in his ear or smiling at Naomi as she tries to scale the steps up to her dad.

Don and Bonnie are more than our Church friends. They are our friends. Bonnie graciously hosted my baby shower at her home last year and they both decorated their backyard to the nines. It was stunning. (See Baby Shower 2010 post.) My heart is broken for Bonnie, and I easily weep thinking of their fierce love for and attachment to each other.

So that's all the bitter. What could possibly be sweet about this? It's a sweet blessing that we've been prolonged to stay in this ward (geographic boundaries of an organized group of church-goers), since the husband couldn't find work for so long. And just the week --literally-- we are moving to a new ward, and the day before the husband was going to be released, Bishop was called home. The husband may or may not realize how much Don has taught him or influenced him these years they've been working together.

The other sweet part is what a blessing it was for him to go quickly. It seems like a pretty clear message, as if God said, "You've completed your work; come on home. Right now."

So with that, I adapt this song's dedication to The Hedrick family. I love them dearly. As difficult as this is for me, I know it's harder for them. I hope they're okay with me sharing this; it means a great deal to me. Again, I love them very, very much.

This song is a balm to my soul today.